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Unfortunately this first post is really going to suck. One would probably expect my first post to be about the beginning of my story and where I am now, especially after reading my “about me” section but I just really need to get a few things off my chest. Hopefully I won’t cause anyone to choose not to read my blog because of this unfortunate beginning but here I go…
It is currently 3:18am on a Thursday morning and I am tired out of my mind. I got home to my college apartment at 1am after going out with a friend for her birthday. I still had a little bit of reading and a 1-2 page paper to write that would be due later on in the day but for some reason I had a really strong urge to get drunk or high. I didn’t have any alcohol so I thought about figuring out if I could get high off of my bipolar medications. I looked up each one online and each answer seemed pretty sketchy. I sat and thought about it for several minutes contemplating if I really should since I didn’t know how it would affect me and even if I did like it, I still wanted to get homework done and I knew that it probably wouldn’t happen if I got high.
But for some reason I still couldn’t focus… Yes, I probably could have just snapped out it and forced myself to finish everything but I didn’t. Maybe I didn’t because bipolar disorder makes people easily distracted and hard for them to focus or maybe I was just being a normal college student who has the tendency to procrastinate. Well anyways… I figured the whole drunk/high thing was a bad idea and I decided that what I really need is an outlet so that’s where this blog came in. I guess making this blog probably took another 30-45 minutes which could have just been another form of procrastination but hopefully it will be a good positive outlet for me. Phew! I’m glad I got that all off my chest. I know this probably sounds like a bunch of dumb stuff and it even sounds dumb to me but if you’re at all like me you’re a little dumb sometimes too. Well it’s 3:35 now and I’m a night owl so I’d rather finish my homework now then get up early to do it before class so thanks for reading and I promise to write about something more interesting next time.
the bipolar club 